sometimes being good one/being bad one deserves no purpose.
i dun even know what to do anymore. nuttin im doing is ever right.
its always a misunderstanding between us.
ADN i really hate that.
i really wish that both of us can stay happy together.
even though we argue loads of times.

BUT just now, i could see the boredness in his eyes while with me.
i really hope he isnt bored, cos i really wants to make him happy.
however the words thrown to me in 1 day, just pissed the hell out of me.
no sympathy at all.
haish :(

i miss my hair. no more qn ask why i kept touching my short hair.
at this moment, i felt real lost in my own world as it seems as though
nothing is going right. even partying seems lesser these days.
i wanted soo much by making others that matter happy, but i
ended up feel the pinch/pain.

simply say, i did almost evrything for Mr.
thus by looking at him being happy, im happy.
but deep inside im emotionless. haish.


i remembered picture aboved was
'the day i know im comfortable wth myself except for the Silver Heels.'


i wanna be the old, crazy and nonsense bitchy ida.
but whenever i tried being myself, i'll ended be misunderstood by Mr.
he's a much better boyfriend to me then the early days.
yes he thinks about himself a lil more but not as much as before.
at least i felt that i existed in his life.
But one thing that he forgot,
im a person that love to be surprised.
even a small surprise will count cos
sometimes small things that you do, shows the most concern.

mayb it takes time. most prolly, im gonna delete my TAGGED acct
either one of them.
Cos to me, no point having 2 accts.
Its really irritating to entertain him and his gals addition in his accts
And guys that kept adding me just cos of my pretty faced picture.
however ive to be strong to make this ~insertword~ happen.
strong enugh to always know that, even though
i can never be the gal that you fantasized abt,
i'm not as hot as the girls that is in your acct AND
ive temperament attitude but
IM THE ONLY GIRL IN YOUR HEART not them.
cos really, im afraid to lose you :D

yes baby, i love you. i really do.
ty for the change and yes, you are much better
BUT still, IMY lah bodoh..


I NEED NEW CAMERA!!!!!
IM SOOO GONNA BUY HIM 'Missey Iyaki's smooth perfume'..-melts- lol
ohh plss, i want more and more pictures of me and him!!!!
pretty plss...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i was surprised when ~insertname~ texted me today.
he was asking how i am doing and blah blah.
i stopped replyin his texts when he asked how am i.
mayb because i really hate his talkings.
whatever lah. i aint care.
cos my boyf is way better than him.
(baby, jgn kembang lah!)

dY-iDa

SURPRISE!!!
yes,yes i chopped my long, loved hair till this short.
Something for a change. BUT...

trust me! when i took those 2 pics of myself (above), i almost teared. haish.
i miss my long hair...

thus to boost a lil confidence in me, boyf and close friends were asked to comment.
haha my ignorance was, i uploaded on tagged and not on facebook.
so my fb mates are all kept in the dark. LOLs.

and the 1st thing Mr Boyf said when we met was,

'you, cute nyer baby i!!!!!'(excited tone)

followed by 'you cute giler seh, i like tau,

mcm cine tpi i tk suke cine but u exception.'

(laughing away)while smoking.

its my hair that is short but he's the one that gets all excited.
even though so, im still glad that he likes it :D


to tell the truth, i really wants my long hair back. my self-esteem
dropped drastically after this hair cut.
even my fwens realised that im more being to myself.

And im more a busy girl/woman like work is my whole life.
i didnt interact much and cyber world misses me, i think. lols
all that just because of a haircut????!!!! OF COURSE NOT!
hahahaha

who is he???
Zulkiflee Shah ft bLacKGhoSt. haha Mr boyf.
well, i will not say he's my everything
but he's my current and future life...
its really a rough time in our relationship till now.
even so, we managed to go thru all till now.
whatever happens next, i hope it will be the better of the future.

I'm sorry Iz, i had to open up. I cant stay and still ponders the past.
yes, while i was M.I.A frm cyber, i did that.
But i Cant give iN all the time. i need to be happy too at times.
And yes, didi did told me that you still waiting for hope.
BUT iz, i've moved on like you told me to, i gave you tonnes of chances
but not once you took it. I'm always gonna be anywhere for you as ur FRIEND.

Ok, doubts are inevitable. truths are always overrated.
and at times, others before yourself was the priority.
But i wished at least 1 person knows me-my feelings and character.
And for upteen times, i wished to be pampered and surprise a lot!!!
Pampered in a good way though;

i'll get back soon aye :D

dY-iDa

Zulkiflee Shah, IM SORRY.

I WAS WRONG.
I WAS AGITATED FOR NO REASON!

iF YOU DO ACCEPT MY APOLOGY, TALK TO ME NICELY K:(

I DUN MEAN IT, I WAS EMOTIONAL!!!!!!

im just too scared to lose you. it looks like now, i myself alr lose out. haish..
foolish me.

IM SORRY BABY!

Bff's birthday was a success. it was awesome ending to my weekend and my freaking exams.

seriously, i aint in da mood. just visit my multiply for photos aites :D.
sorry.

can anyone that knows me and zul, just tell me whats so complicating about my relationship wth him???
haish.
arghhh, up to you larh zul. she's hotter than me. she's better.
JUST WHAT WRONG DID I DO?

(im not being drama but it happens countless of times to me.)


now you decide. i'm gonna just shut up.
Cos really, at this moment, i don't know whats complicating between us????!!!!!!!
haix.and i dun realised that we were arguing on anything for the last two days :(

it always like this. when i choose to ignore every other guys and really did, this had to happen.
i wished i was in K.L..
arghh, whatever lah...

Zulkiflee Shah, if you are reading this, tell me!
what so complicating about us???????
i dont know what to say to you.
(still dont get it why im mad at you???next tyme, lau nak ader pompuan lain pun kn, jgn kasi ur gf ur tagged nyer password then kn, tell other lady, that ur status is actually 'complicated'.....
IF really she fall for you, definitely you gonna dump me for her. padahal she doesnt know a thing pun. haish..)
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i should have just shut my big mouth up! And never spill anything i was feeling to you.
now i felt soo stupid. arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive told you i dun want another failed r/s. i willing to sacrifice.
now look! who's playing behind who's back?
if this have to end anytime soon, im really speechless and im sure gonna be blank out. :(
oh god, give me strengths PLEASE.
Damn. really if you do love me, how am i suppose to trust you now????????


people, dont call me today, sms only. i'll get back to you all tomorrow.
DAMN. foolish me...
even though im mad at you now,
all that keeps playing in my mind was ur words. icNfwly. DAMN.

whatever larh kans, ianya akan terjadi lagi sekali nyer if i ikut perangai lamer...haish..

dY-iDa