Mencoba tuk pahami
Mencari celah hatimu
Bila harus menangis
Aku kan menangis
Namun air mata
Ini telah habis
Segalanya telah kuberikan
Tapi kau tak pernah ada pengertian
Mungkin kita harus jalani
Cinta memang cukup sampai disini
mungkin ini satu keputusan yang paling terpahit harus aku utuskan. Tapy untuk perubahan, inilah yang terbaik. Aku harus lupakan segalanya. AKu harus memulakan dengan yang terbaik. Cukup percintaan aku carik selama ini. Cintaku tk pernah dihargai. Untuk apa harus ku mencari cinta apabila cintaku disia2kan. Apa gunanya? mungkin satu hari, hatiku akan terbuka. tapy untuk masa kini, aku kebal menyimpan perasaan kasih yang ku inginkn selama ni.
i knew its a big 'malay emo-ing' but i guess this decision must be made strong! Nothing must/should stop me from being strong. i failed everytime facing obstacles. i have to be stronger now to face obstacles and say NO to others. Mayb i have to do it by my own self. no point dependin on others. for a fact, ive no one to depend on also. haissh.
LOVE aint a factor in my life anymore. i will be strong. help me friends :)
CINTA SAMPAI DISINI
Monday, November 30, 2009
its a choice made!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
i've made up my mind. this gonna be the hardest choice3 that ive ever made in my whole entire life. but i think i should start this change. people come and go in my life. now i'm choosing who stays in mine and who's im leaving without a valid reason. As a say, 2009 is really a bad year for me. no point to regret, but ive learnt from all of that had happened. DONE. its a change. i hope it will improve soon.
CHIKA
CHIKA
WTF!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
seriously, i'm speechless, disappointed, helpless about A TRUTH being revealed.
'the closest friend may be the worst enemy'
and yes, its really a disappointment.
she aint a friend to me anymore.
i aint gonna tell anything to YOU,bitch anymore!!!!
AND OUR FRIENDSHIP ENDED!
And to you, thnks for the truth. Let time heals the pain.
i'm just emotionless.
nak nangis pun tk gune,
nak marah pun tk gune,
nak sedih pun tk gune.
words from my heart:
i just cant stop thinking. is this a right choice?
what if she likes you too the way you used to chase her?
won't you want her if she wants you?
did you really have choosen me?
CHIKA
flabbergasted
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
meeting her later to go e2i for interview. GOSH..
its been awhile since i went for any interviews.
haish.
not all really knows what happened to me.
but briefly, i just lost my life.
LIFE tht i wanted had been taken away from me.
Thats the reason for the change.
As i journalised in TAGGED.
Whatever happened, happened.
no point pondering over it.
i'm just gonna continue with this new life
even though i aint happy at all.
yes, i dunnow how or what my happiness is.
fickle i am, but i aint care.
ALL i wanna do is to be 'Happy-Happy Selalu'
even if i have to fake my way through, but still
i need to stay alive.
im done blabbering. things gonna change drastically.
AND IM NOT HAPPY AT ALL.
still, i will have the mindset 'Happy-Happy Selalu'
bukan mudah. tapy aku akan cuba.
CHIKA
CHANGED!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
There are few reasons to why i changed my url link.
SOmetiMes PeOPLe tHat yOU uSed TO truSt wouLd
sTaB yoU iN tHe BaCK.
Therefore i'm starting new! im refreshing myself.
ANd REFRESHING MY URL TO MY LINKS AND CERTAIN PEEPS ONLY :)
SOmetiMes PeOPLe tHat yOU uSed TO truSt wouLd
sTaB yoU iN tHe BaCK.
Therefore i'm starting new! im refreshing myself.
ANd REFRESHING MY URL TO MY LINKS AND CERTAIN PEEPS ONLY :)
finally :)
Friday, November 20, 2009
This is my 100th post and i'm happy ive reached thus far.
But at this moment, im clueless.i'm neither happy nor angry.
i'm disappointed and speechless!
as of today, IM GONNA CHANGE MY BLOG URL.
Given to those that matters only!!
To the all unnecessary peeps, GET OFF MY BACK!
But at this moment, im clueless.i'm neither happy nor angry.
i'm disappointed and speechless!
as of today, IM GONNA CHANGE MY BLOG URL.
Given to those that matters only!!
To the all unnecessary peeps, GET OFF MY BACK!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
how i wished :'(
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
ok workloads are pilling and i need to stress out that i've loads to do. haish
no mood.
proper update for ya'll soon k :/
no mood.
proper update for ya'll soon k :/
Monday, November 16, 2009
badanku teramat lah lemah and i dun feel good at all.
all i think of doing ryte now is to SLEEP!!!
but i know i cant cos i have to WORK!
hahaha..
i miss him. but does he truly love me?
i shall just keep mum and just continue to be happy.
cos there's no point for me to be sad2..
nutin to be sad about also. lols
had my breakfast with wanton.
so i shall head down to work, pretty soon :)
dy-ida
all i think of doing ryte now is to SLEEP!!!
but i know i cant cos i have to WORK!
hahaha..
i miss him. but does he truly love me?
i shall just keep mum and just continue to be happy.
cos there's no point for me to be sad2..
nutin to be sad about also. lols
had my breakfast with wanton.
so i shall head down to work, pretty soon :)
dy-ida
4 more to go..
Lari,lari,lari,
aku lari tinggalkan semua ini untuk mencari ketenangan diri.
SOmetimes i just wonder what im doing is right or wrong. but its my direction of life that made me stronger day by day. i aint gonna lose whatever ive work hard so far to throw it down the drain :)
t.c wonderful people :)
aku lari tinggalkan semua ini untuk mencari ketenangan diri.
SOmetimes i just wonder what im doing is right or wrong. but its my direction of life that made me stronger day by day. i aint gonna lose whatever ive work hard so far to throw it down the drain :)
t.c wonderful people :)
Friday, November 13, 2009
5 more additional posts to my 100th. weee
ferstly, sorry! been busy wth life that i forgot abt this lil space.
ishallsayitsratherpersonallyemotionalstabilityperiodofmylife.
im sorry.
all i can say, im sorry. :/
diriku rase seperti ingin lari jauh2 dari nyata.
kerana kenyataan amat pahit utk ku lalui.
tapy jika ku terus berlari, dimana letaknya kebahagian yang ku ingini selama ni?
apa yang mampu ku lakukan?kerana ini semua telah terjadi.
bisikan hati melafazkan kebingungan antara percintaan dan pendirian.
sometimes i really wonder whats going on in my life. i kept wondering and wondering.
enta mengapa, terasa ingin jalan muda dlm menyelesaikan masalah. tpi diriku tk bahagia.
selangkahkupergi, satukeputusanku buat, tak akan ku kembali lagi :'(
ferstly, sorry! been busy wth life that i forgot abt this lil space.
ishallsayitsratherpersonallyemotionalstabilityperiodofmylife.
im sorry.
all i can say, im sorry. :/
diriku rase seperti ingin lari jauh2 dari nyata.
kerana kenyataan amat pahit utk ku lalui.
tapy jika ku terus berlari, dimana letaknya kebahagian yang ku ingini selama ni?
apa yang mampu ku lakukan?kerana ini semua telah terjadi.
bisikan hati melafazkan kebingungan antara percintaan dan pendirian.
sometimes i really wonder whats going on in my life. i kept wondering and wondering.
enta mengapa, terasa ingin jalan muda dlm menyelesaikan masalah. tpi diriku tk bahagia.
selangkahkupergi, satukeputusanku buat, tak akan ku kembali lagi :'(
zero to hero
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
everything happens for a reason. im gonna explain more when im free. now, my life happy! it cant bbe much more happier :(
dy-ida
dy-ida
Saturday!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
hanging out session wth teddy bear at keppel's bay was fun!...it was relaxing.
it clears my mind off things.no stress on matters that is happening in my life. we separated after that chill session arnd 8.30, took the bus to cck and chill again wth friends. After awhile zul called, and we chilled with iz at cck sekejap. then off we went to admiralty since ninie pun nak lepakz. the night was fun..played cards, sing2, dance2, laugh2, explore2 and many more. it was fun larh.
especially at playground where we teased each other like mad. maklum lah, kecik2 tk main sands. kiter empat giler sey siol. now tgh tgu timing to enjoy again.
ohh ya i scored B- for my basic management exam paper :)
klah nak rest my head. lols
fyda
it clears my mind off things.no stress on matters that is happening in my life. we separated after that chill session arnd 8.30, took the bus to cck and chill again wth friends. After awhile zul called, and we chilled with iz at cck sekejap. then off we went to admiralty since ninie pun nak lepakz. the night was fun..played cards, sing2, dance2, laugh2, explore2 and many more. it was fun larh.
especially at playground where we teased each other like mad. maklum lah, kecik2 tk main sands. kiter empat giler sey siol. now tgh tgu timing to enjoy again.
ohh ya i scored B- for my basic management exam paper :)
klah nak rest my head. lols
fyda
woohoo..
8 more posts to my 100th post. And woah, ive only opened this new link, less than a year ago and within that period, i'm almost reachin my 100th posts!!! well done on blogging to myself.hehe
slept over at fir's yesterday and hahaha funny larh, wanna watch online movie, was waiting for it to load for almost 2 hrs. we gave up, watch korean drama series and youtube-ing, then both of us fell asleep. initial plan was to go home at 7. ended up goiing home at 12..hahahaha
slept over at fir's yesterday and hahaha funny larh, wanna watch online movie, was waiting for it to load for almost 2 hrs. we gave up, watch korean drama series and youtube-ing, then both of us fell asleep. initial plan was to go home at 7. ended up goiing home at 12..hahahaha
ohhhh
(click on it to enlarge)
hehe. i love anita the online psychic!!!
to ALL who cares, i love you all too..
was supposed to follow iz to lau pa sat, but decided not to.
then was supposed to go school then meet teddy
but last min, sch such a d**k, made me go for nothing.
now blogging, waiting for teddy to reach...haha..
blueaks!!!
klah..going off now. must force teddy to take pictures with me!!! weee
see ya my lovelies reader :)
(click on it to enlarge)
hehe. i love anita the online psychic!!!
to ALL who cares, i love you all too..
was supposed to follow iz to lau pa sat, but decided not to.
then was supposed to go school then meet teddy
but last min, sch such a d**k, made me go for nothing.
now blogging, waiting for teddy to reach...haha..
blueaks!!!
klah..going off now. must force teddy to take pictures with me!!! weee
see ya my lovelies reader :)
di antara kalian
Thursday, November 5, 2009
why again?
why now?
why you never end it afterall?
why must you create drama?
why cant you let me lead my life?
interfere-ing isnt bringing you anywhere?
neither control-ing me!
why now?
why you never end it afterall?
why must you create drama?
why cant you let me lead my life?
interfere-ing isnt bringing you anywhere?
neither control-ing me!
im sick and tired when u repeatingly saying you love me and you wont be like before. where our love can continue to blossom like before. hey! you kept saying but you didnt apply it.
ive told myself to give a chance. but what are ur chances? 0. absolutely 0.
doesnt mean im nice and im close to you, it means im definitely accepting you back.
where's your courage, muhd izdihar?
a million sorry(s) but if you doesnt change, wont make any differences.
being a friend to you is rather safe than to have a relationship wth you.
i tried beingpatient. i tried to be sincere. i've opened up to ur family since so long.
i pity ibu and akak! trying to advice you from day to day. but u are still in the world of your own.
im proud of u being educated thus far. but boy, there's a lot more to learn in life than just from the books. i think you should take physchology next!!!
sorry baby, i sounded harsh. but its reality. please!
stop telling the whole world that im your girlfriend. Our love story have long ended.
and it will take more than effort to fall for you again. frankly, the feelings just sorrowed baby.
while you are tryna pursue-ing me, im hesitatingly getting rid my feelings for 'him'.
i cant believe that feelings grown deeper..since zul left, 'he' have been there for me. but im not sure. he's far away. and he told me ' not to wait '. thats y im hesitating to get rid of 'him'.
but thats life. its either happy or sad. im alright. mayb at this moment, im just destined to be lonely. i dun mind.
life still have to go on.
i told myself: to say ' i love you ' gonna be difficult. i need to see that courage again. ive lost myself to a courage cheated before and im not gonna fall into that trap again. moving on with life without love.
dy-ida
i didnt realise that i was actually on a verge of conclusion when i told myself that just be friends to everyone.
and at times, i get frustrated that i tend to hide away. so what wrong with me actually?
i myself am not sure.
but one thing for sure, im faking my happiness.
cant elaborate more:)
zirca-ing/rebel-ing with the girls were fun. relieve my anger and stress at the moment at least.
freaking tired though.
:)
anyways, im good to disappear. COS this conclusion is killing me.:(
dy-ida
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
CONFUSED!!!
monday blues-less
Monday, November 2, 2009
Yet another blue-less monday!
Had Induction training. Was fantastic and fun! who would say that going for training was fun?? ME!!! hehe.
Basically, i ate lunch and dinner. and both tkley abes.
after work, dropped by darla's workplace and yes! i miss her loads.
its been awhile since my mc and my workloads, ive been too busy to even sms her.
lol
actually kn,
ive got less to write cos im very the tired...shall study a bit and rest.
tired...
bsk another day at work. lols
Had Induction training. Was fantastic and fun! who would say that going for training was fun?? ME!!! hehe.
Basically, i ate lunch and dinner. and both tkley abes.
after work, dropped by darla's workplace and yes! i miss her loads.
its been awhile since my mc and my workloads, ive been too busy to even sms her.
lol
actually kn,
ive got less to write cos im very the tired...shall study a bit and rest.
tired...
bsk another day at work. lols
its the same.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Sometimes, some things aint meant to be spoken. Whatever emoshits im going thru,why must things turn out that way? its a lesson learnt and i aint sure what have become to the situation at the moment. its really complicated.
Iz,please stop those nonsense for once can? evrytime we meet, every little things we have to fight. non-stop small fights. arghhhh...
i swear im not the ida when im wth Zul. yes, i was totally devoted to 1 at that tyme. But hey, i didnt say im accepting you, Iz. i say lets be normal friends and see from there. so it means that you cant stop me to make friends wth someone else! its different. its not like last tyme anymore. im allowed to have friends too k!! stop pressuring me to commit!
its my heart, aint ur right k...haish.
continue tomoro..
fyda
Iz,please stop those nonsense for once can? evrytime we meet, every little things we have to fight. non-stop small fights. arghhhh...
i swear im not the ida when im wth Zul. yes, i was totally devoted to 1 at that tyme. But hey, i didnt say im accepting you, Iz. i say lets be normal friends and see from there. so it means that you cant stop me to make friends wth someone else! its different. its not like last tyme anymore. im allowed to have friends too k!! stop pressuring me to commit!
its my heart, aint ur right k...haish.
continue tomoro..
fyda
