i had enough!

alhamdulilah, lagi satu hari sudah berlalu dan

diriku dapat menjalani puasa dengan tenang.

Break-fast @ grandAunt's hse with mum.
there were my uncle, the lil 2 kiddos.
its calm to be able to layan the kids.
i had fun. i hope they too.

nothing much to update. been busy only.
ouh ya, few mins ago, i get to chat with my use-to-be BestFwen, BANJI.
lol. it was great to know that me and him are ok.
but i know as we get older, we have more responsibilities that we could not
hang out more and waste time. mayb sometime soon, we'll meet up yea

Alhamdulilah, it has been 13 days of Ramadhan.
And i had to pay 3 days already after Ramadhan.
syukur that i can control my emotions MOST of the time
although there were times that i snapped.

life as per normal, MUNDANE

dear,im not sure about you.
i've not do anything to hurt you these days.
altho there are times that i need companion and you werent arnd.
i like you.
AND I DONT WANT TO HURT YOU.
i know your job is a pressure.
and time is always a lack from you to me.
BUT all i need is a lil initiative.
which was never there in the 1st place.
mayb im impatience.
but im doing this cos i dont want to hurt you and hurt myself.
if time really tell what gonna be our decision,
ill give myself time to think thru everything.
im not even sure of your feelings towards me.
im sorry.

dy-ida

sick
insomnia :(

i had some dreams that unimaginable in real life. Something and someone sooo random were what i dreamt of last night. it has no link to my real life. :) hehs. i need to find new ideas on my tune of life.

hmmm...nothing much to blog about. Break-fast @ kaq lys's hse. i was having a bad migraine earlier that i didnt had much to talk with kaq lys. :(
KAQ!!! i need to complain to you!! i hate the news that ive just heard :'(.
im feeling real down

dY-iDa

dear,i miss you soo much.
thanks for trusting me and have the faith in us.
:)

alhamdulilah, sudah 6 hari berlalu kita berpuasa.
for me, i had 5 days of fasting.
amin

had jemput2 hotdog today. SEDAP!
hehs.

no one's home tonight. sleeping alone :(

ahhhhhhhhhh
why must it always be me who have to go thru this???
i hate this.
bukan ku tk punya harga diri.
tapi dirimu begitu berarti.
kaulah lah nafasku
kaulah harga diriku
mengerti aku

haish
alhamdulilah saya dapat puasa penuh hari ini
tapi diri ini mendak sekali seperti tiada ertinya.

but hey i got ur back, boy....

dy-ida

Alhamdulilah.
5th day i get to fast. amin.
i kept forgetting that im gonna have my Accounts Paper in 3 weeks time till i realise it when he post the shoutout on facebook. DIE!
i havent even start on my campaign that i need to start revise for my calculus?
uishhh, this is terrible mann.

i need new ideas and new inspirations. but I dontknow how and where to start :(
hopefully with this patience and perseverance, i'm able to go through this and make sure everything is done on time. amin.

dear: miss you baby :)
aww. if only your work isnt this bad. i understand you k. all for your own good dear :)

emotionally im getting better. maybe im getting the hang of ' everything happen for a reason '
im happy with who i am right now.
im happy to have my family and friends.
that all matters. amin
gonna continue cracking some ideas :)

dy-ida
selamat bersahur:)
today having ikan bawal!!!sedap!!

unlucky as i am, i had attacked of pain right after imsak and i had to skip fasting and eat my medicines. terrible breathing and moving. so in conclusion i already have to pay 1 day of fasting.
insyallah with no halangan, im continuing fasting later today.

so at home, my family cooked chicken curry and jemput2. I loike.
basically today nothing much. i was satisfied with my work. without me being there, everything went well. amin. thanks to my great team.
so after keeping tabs on them, ♥ texted me and we chilled.
he seemed shagged. hope now he would rest well at home.
tomorrow i wanna start planning on what to bake for Raye.
Cant wait :)
Sooo gonna bake my CHOC CHIPS :) ♥ ♥

now watching The Nanny to sleep :)
have a great day tomorrow yea.
selamat berpuasa.
hopefully i wont collapsed like this morning. amin :)

Although everyone have different statues in life BUT everyone's dignity is the same and must be respected equally.

i like this phrase. it gives meaning to everyone's life.
think it through:)

3rd Day of Puasa.
Had a lil tiff with my mum.
However i know this is trials that ive been put through during this sacred Ramadhan.
i know i have to keep myself calm so that i can go through all these trials.

so basically right before i break-fast before i continue my arguments with my mum, i went out to break-fast. thank god kaq lys wth me at that point of time. thanks sis.
anyways. i had chicken rice. msged dear and he was worried. so not to make him worry, i went up and cooled myself alone. thanks dear.
although he cant be right here for me, at least his texts calmed me.

now waiting to cook fishball soup with tofu, harrigourd, broccoli & potatoes. loves it :)
soupy soup :):):):)

got to go now. Will update more tomorrow yea.
26 more days.
HAPPY YOG-ing tomorrow. :)
those who are at the concert, dont forget to 'tegur' me

dY-iDa

Alhamdulilah, ive passed my 2nd Day of Fasting.
i was enlightened to be able to break-fast with kaq ana, abg yazid, mum and bro.
i had mee goreng, Indian Rojak again ( hehs ) and some kuihs.
afterwhich kaq lys came along.
had fun with them.
instead of terawih, we karaoke. hehs.
still, i had fun.

back to the picture.
im not ready. seriously im not ready at all.
after the last msg received.
i felt really2 insecure.
why people love to hurt me indirectly???
and now im restless again.
haish

after all that ive gone through. i had enuff already.
still im not gonna seek

Selamat BerpuAsa :D
had indian Rojak and Roti Boyan! SeDap.
dad off to terawih, mum cooking for sahur tomorrow.
im clearing my school loads.
i wonder what he break-fast today.
pray for his wellness and health all day long.

i've passed my 1st day of Fasting. Happy :)
i felt calm and enlightened a little.
Cant wait to continue fasting in days to come.

however i dont look forward to Hari Raye.
BUsy,BuSy, BusY.
Nvm, this year i still want to make the most of my fasting month :)

anyways, Happy Fasting to all Muslims.

ouhh, im done with my 8 pages report. now i've got to continue my
assignments and practical notes later.
now wanna watch dvd, IP MAN 2!! hehs.
soo much for wanting to do my sch workloads. hehs

dy-iDa

Im glad you found me.
at your busy moments,
u made time for me.
thanks.

your company made me feel secured.
playing scrabble with you, after a tired day at work,
made me smile before i sleep.
with you carassing my hair, i wish to fall asleep on you.
thanks dear.

my msg to you, since u want me to update badly.
'selamat berpuase, work safely. dont fall asleep! text me when ure free k. muaccks'

klau perasaanku boleh berbicara,
telah ia katakan,
ia pedih.
ia panah.

ia telah jera.

im sorry adry. i cant make any decisions now. my life have been mundane till you came. however i cant express my feelings to anyone or even to myself..im emotionless at the moment. i need some air. your company made me smile. though at times i forced myself to smile. your care and concern shows how much i matter in your life. Im sorry. I felt like ive used you. And i dont wanna hurt someone as sincere as you. its just that im still trying to get over my recent love. And how much i tried to erase him, he is still in my heart. Like you told me, to love someone doesnt mean i have to be with him, im doing it well to care for him for afar.

thus, to love me, doesnt mean you have to be with me. let me go thru all that ive to go thru in order to find my happiness again. BUT as selfish as ive never been, can you please stay in my life as my friend?Will you? Close friend maybe?
Im really sorry. i hope you feel me.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i need myself back. ive lost myself along the way in my life.
i need the happiness back into me.
all these while ive been forcing. and i hate it.
haish
I HATE BEING FAKE!!!